BACK WITH A BANG: The Mattress Song

The man himself

"BACK WITH A BANG" otherwise known as "Mattress Mick's Theme" is the theme of Mattress Mick, one of the few beings on Earth with a similar power level to Markus. Mattress Mick is a Mattress Salesperson based in Dublin, Ireland who owns 5(?) shops around the city.

In this particular adventure, Mick dons his best piece of armor, a pimp suit and hops in the old DeLorean to some dodgy alleyway where a bunch of kids hang out. Soon after mick teleports to Namibia or somewhere to have a look at the sunset. Pretty boring stuff for a being like Mick to be fair but he obviously wasn't using all of his power. On to the song itself.

So Mick is back (with a bang), the undisputed king of Mattress Land. A place where Mick explains that mattressy people drive mattressy cars. Mick continues to talk about mattress land for the rest of the song so there's not much else to talk about there.

A graph

Then this woman shows up and starts singing about something that I don't really remember to be honest. Wasn't really listening in truth, bring back Mick.

Yeah this song wasn't great, ehm 6/10, not enough Mick.

Yuh while all 0 of you are here make sure you check out "In my Opinion" it's actually funny unlike my blog.

the blog

Ich will Spaß: The greatest masterpiece to ever grace the earth.

Ich will Spaß is the magnum opus of demigod Markus. It was a part of legendary album "Kugelblitze & Raketen", an electronic pop album released in 1982 that was met with critical acclaim.

I couldn't find any real info about the song but it's an absolute banger, right. It starts with God talking about his brand new Maserati and how he outruns the polis at 210 k/h. Then he talks about a tank apparently. And then he's all like "I want to have fun" about 20 times.

Markus creates the Earth

Markus continues describing his epic tale of adventure, intrigue and murder in great detail, until one of Markus' companions breaks out into an awe-inspiring tin whistle solo. This solo is rumored to be what caused the creation of the earth.

Markus fighting the gas station attendent

But it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Markus then starts to speak about his "best friend" the gas station attendant. However, later on in this arc it is revealed that the gas station attendant has been a traitor this whole time and is of equal, if not greater power than Markus, who must use all his strength to defeat him. During the fight the petrol bloke uses his power to saw the country of Germany in half. However using all of his strength, Markus manages to bring the country back together using his power REUNIFICATION.

After defeating the petrol fella, Markus takes a drag of his cigarette and drives off in his Maserati, thus ending this episode of The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Markus driving away

Diamond Dogs: A good Album

Diamond Dogs is a good album.
Future Legend: This track isn't even a track to be honest. It's a monologue about the apocalypse I guess I don't really to be fair. Anyway it ends with the iconic line "This ain't rock and roll. This is genocide."

Diamond Dogs: A song about chaos. It's chaotic nature is reflected in both it's lyrics and its instrumental. The song is about a character called Halloween Jack (who appears once, here and never again. Not even on another album, like he's not even mentioned ever again). Here's an analysis of the lyrics that I stole.

Halloween Jack, not a clip art of a Jack-o-Lantern

Alright so there's these blokes called the Diamond Dogs and they're poachers, but they're not poaching animals, they're poaching people. So that's like, the first verse. And then the chorus is all like. "Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs". The second verse is about this bloke called Halloween Jack and he lives in the post-apocalyptic world of the album. This bloke lives in a bank in New York right, and he's so cool, so absolutely epic that he slides down the rope of an elevator shaft when the elevator is broken. Now guess what happens next. In the most shocking and creative move in music history... THE CHORUS! Again. Then there's another verse that's way shorter than the other ones. Chorus again. Then Bowie decides he's gonna make dog noises for a bit. After that there's some repetition about the Diamond Dogs and then the song ends. 7/10

The next three: These are the best songs on the album. Listen to them, they're honestly some of my favorite songs of all time. The lyrics are so powerful and I honestly can't do it justice by writing about it. Listen to it, like I'm not messing around here mate.

Rebel Rebel: It's good but it's hella boring. (Mr. Controversial over here). No further comments.

Rock 'N' Roll With Me: I don't remember this one to be honest so it can't be that good. I'm messing, the piano in the song is beautiful and everything about the song is sort of relaxing in a sense. That ending as well. Perfect! On my life I love it.

We are the Dead: I don't really know, I remember hating this one when I first heard it but I've really grown to love it. It's so sad but so beautiful at the same time. Whenever I hear "It hit me today" or "Because of all we've seen. Because of all we've said. We are the dead." Imma keep it real with you chief, gets me every time, same with "It's silence competes with hell". It's good, not my favorite track but it's not bad.

It's at this point that I should probably say that this album was intended to be the soundtrack to a proposed '1984' play but that obviously never happened.

Alright so the last 3 songs on this album are good, they're about 1984 or something i don't really know mate, I've never read it.

Yeah listen to Diamond Dogs, it takes 40-ish minutes and you'll only regret it a tiny bit.